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The VA Healthcare System… The Bat Shit Crazy Girlfriend I can’t ever seem to break-up with

You want to breakup with her, but you don't have a lot of better options. Or at least you can't afford them.

In the words of my father, if you want healthcare, go to the VA. If you want GOOD healthcare, go somewhere else.

While The Veterans Administration is a vital resource for roughly 9 million veterans and their eligible family. The system consists of providing care at 1,243 health care facilities, including 170 VA Medical Centers and 1,063 outpatient sites.
That many levels, leaves A LOT of room for error. Bureaucracy is a bitch.


So here’s where it leaves a lot of veterans. In that sad space, where nobody wants to be in life. The VA takes its time, then rushes you. The VA will limit you while pointing out you have other options. The VA will over analyze you and give you very little direct feedback. The VA makes you jump through all kinds of hoops for the simplest of requests. The VA will put you through every emotion, constantly begging for your approval and affirmation. (If you use my healthy vet then you know they always want your feedback with that survey…. so damn needy!)


The VA is a bat shit crazy girlfriend. And you want to breakup with her, but you don’t have a lot of better options. Or at least you can’t afford them.

You’ve seen better partners.
Kaiser Permanente or Sharp, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Scripps… But they bad and bougie. And your check hasn’t leveled up yet. So you stuck with the Ratchet ass, messy as hell, drama filled VA…

Zamn Zaddy… This shit sucks…


The heart of the problem is because the VA is always forcing itself on you. It’s keeping you in a perpetual cycle, an illusion that it truly cares about your best interest more than anything else; that it will always be there for you when the truth of the matter is, it won’t! Because it is inconsistent and not dependable. The VA can’t be there for you, because it is damaged, scarred and broken in a way that the VA itself, has not yet come to acknowledge. She has daddy issues.

erica giphy

I have yet to find a solution other than to cut bait and run. Free myself and find a way to do better; I think I deserve it. I deserve to go somewhere and be with someone who truly cares about my mental and physical well-being; maybe even in a better way than know I deserve. That’s usually what happens; when you level up, you end up with someone who’s treating you better than you ever could have ever imagined. You never considered that just maybe, you deserved so much better and that you could actually have it. But in the moment it sounds impossible. Mainly because the VA is just always there. And she’s always providing small moments when it seems like we’re making progress.

Here’s a great snapshot of my life with the VA.
LAST August, I called to request an appointment with my secondary provider; mind you, after sending multiple messages that went unanswered; like lightskinned girl at Sunday brunch. To my surprise, my doctor was not available, but as to why is the really question. He no longer works for the VA! Or he no longer works at the VA San Diego; depending on whom I spoke to at the time during the days round of calls. After a few weeks of waiting to hear back, I finally received a reply and was told that I had been assigned and would to go through another round of assessments. The appointment for the assessment would be the following month. Like Bro… REALLY? Okay fine. Let’s jump through the hoops to get what I really want. An outpatient referral. An outpatient referral allows me to see a provider outside of the VA system, through The Choice Program. The Choice Program is like the baddies on Instagram, Doctors & Medical Professionals, living their best lives; always looking good, getting all the likes, making you wish you could just meet with them one time. Man, just one time. So after early mid-November assessment, nothing but silence. I send messages, I make phone calls. no response. So I do what crazy girls always want you to do. I show up to the doorstep. I go up to the VA and ask to speak to someone. Only to hear that the person handling my file is on vacation. Bih… SmdH…
So now we’re into late December, and The VA pulls another classic crazy girl move; Phone Tag. But the key to the classic relationship game is you have to call when they KNOW you can’t answer the phone. Like for real? C’mon Son. So after getting through the holiday season, we’re into 2 weeks off phone tag, then finally I get speak to, what I presume is the new main provider. She informs me that I can’t have access to choice, but I can come see her any time. And she reassures me that shes wants whats best for me. and that looks forward to helping me in the future. But she didn’t help me.
And it’s January…  JANUARY… I’ve been waiting since August.

This is The VA. This is my life.



So here I am, stuck in a cycle with this crazy bitch who I just can’t get away from. Waiting for that catastrophic moment, in which all of these unhealthy relationships always end. Shit! I hope she doesn’t kill me.

– M.


1 comment on “The VA Healthcare System… The Bat Shit Crazy Girlfriend I can’t ever seem to break-up with

  1. Pingback: Don’t settle when its time to pick a therapist – Team True Story

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