I wasn’t gonna write on #metoo.
In part for self preservation and well really, just for that.
Which should be reason enough, but it isn’t.
Even in the midst of women trying to stand in solidarity with one another, we are being called liars.
#Metoo “isn’t enough,” they say, “tell us your story or it didn’t happen.”
Be it my ego, the cause, or simply because I am so tired of #metoo not being enough.
Let me tell you my story.
The first time a man sexually assaulted me, I was 5 years old.
I told someone and not a thing was done.
The second time I was 9 years old.
When I was 11, my PE teacher’s assistant would make me sit out from PE and then tell me all the things he loved about my body and how he wanted to have sex with me.
This is around the same time men would comment on my breasts and holler and/or follow me as I walked down the street.
The next time I was sexually assaulted was at gunpoint. I was 14.
When I was 22, I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend.
When I was 26, I lost my job because I told my boss that if he ever made an inappropriate advance (he had done so every day for a year) at me again, that I was going to HR.
When I was 28, while at work, I was cornered in a private office as a physician detailed each sexual thing he wanted to do with me. I kicked him in then balls and ran out.
At 37, I find myself, yet again, fighting inappropriate advances in my day to day, simply because a man can’t keep his dick or ego in his pants.
Is that enough story for you naysayers, cynics, and assholes?!
Will my story help you believe the countless #meetoo’s you see on your timelines?!
I can share my story because of an amazing therapist, 5 years of hard personal work and the fact that my fucks are minimal these days.
But even with that being said, while writing this, all of the shame, fear and embarrassment I used to feel (and sometimes still feel) and function from, washes over me.
82% of all juvenile rape victims are female.
90% of adult rape victims are female.
One in three women have been sexually harassed at work.
38% of victims of sexual violence experience work or school problems, which can include significant problems with a boss, coworker or peer.
We shouldn’t have to detail the crimes committed against our bodies to get you to believe us.
But it seems like we MUST do so to get any change.
So those of us that can, do so for ourselves and for those that are not able to share their own stories.
Not for your co sign, but to take away the taboo, start the conversation, band together in compassion and solidarity to find a way to make this stop.
side note…I didn’t even write about the NUMEROUS times men have exposed themselves and catcalled throughout the years…just too many to write