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#Insecure: Molly got hit with the real.

Sometimes life ends up differently than you expect/planned. You gotta learn to be okay with that. You thought you were gonna drive that car, live in this area of town, hold that degree, work in this dream job, making that amount of money? SIKE!!!

Molly got with the real. In a way most of us get hit with every damn day whether we realize it or nah.

Sometimes its subtle, sometimes nah. Sometimes is big and grandiose, sometimes nah. But no matter what, the real coming for you.

The reality that life is not what you thought it would be. But hey comfort snacks help.

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Molly followed the checks in the box, she had a plan, she may not have had a name or a face, but she even had the type of man picked out. And it all went to shit. Where and when is anybody’s guess, most of the time. But life is not defined by our adversities but how we respond to them. Molly responded like most people do, with denial, the shifting back and forth of priorities and standards.
(Which is what also leads to the “hoe phase”, but that’s another discussion.)

How are you supposed to handle the shift and the transition to a new reality based on acceptance? You thought you were gonna drive that car, live in this area of town, hold that degree, work in this industry making that amount of money? SIKE!!!

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Sometimes that’s not even the hardest part. The thing you don’t have or never had can be easy to let go of. But sometimes its the thing you have that isn’t quite packaged or the way you expected or hoped it would come. The shoes you wanted but not in the color you were looking for. The man you want, but doesn’t have be job you envisioned for your lifestyle and family. The woman you want that doesn’t have the waist size you imagined for your dream. The dream job that isn’t in the city you hoped or maybe isn’t making the money you swore come.

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And to make matters worse, when do you reach that acceptance? Is there an age or time limit? Or do you just keep touching the proverbial stove until the all the nerve endings in your hand are gone from the 3rd degree burns?

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Well the first thing most therapists will identify in your behavior or speech are called “stuck points”.  Stuck points are thoughts that keep us grounded by creating governing laws in our own heads.  Stuck points are concise statements that reflect a thought – not a feeling, behavior, or event. “Success is only for those who work for it”, “I need life to meet my standards, therefore my must work hard”, “I deserve more”.

Sometimes this kind of thinking can make life MORE difficult than it has to be, not only for you, but others around you who just want to love and support you. But you’re too busy stuck on only one way of thinking. Stuck limiting our ability to see alternative options; which can make us difficult people to deal with in all aspects of our lives.

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Aight Girl, dang don’t shoot the messenger!!! I’m just saying…
I just wanna see you win, But we all have to learn to work with what we got… even if it ain’t much.

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-M.

 

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